A distraught father decided to share in the 'Aks the Therapist' section of The New York Times a situation that is making him sad about his daughter.
According to his account, he divorced 36 years ago, but has always remained a present father in his daughter's life. She's getting married for the second time and there's been one decision that has upset the man.
According to reports, she decided that this time she wanted her stepfather to walk her down the aisle.
“I assume that he will also be the one to star in the moment of the dance between father and daughter,” he writes, noting that although he had just accepted the idea, it left him ‘devastated’.
Despite knowing that “this day is not about me”, the man says he can't help but feel “hurt” and is even considering not going to the ceremony.
The man's sharing leads him to question whether he is being “selfish and childish” or whether his indignation is justified.
Without underestimating his feelings, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb makes him try to think differently.
“If your daughter has decided that she wants her stepfather to walk her down the aisle, that means that he has had a significant presence in her life. Why not look at it, not as if he were her rival, but appreciating the fact that he has been an additional figure in her life?” he says.
A distraught father decided to share in the 'Aks the Therapist' section of The New York Times a situation that is making him sad about his daughter.
According to his account, he divorced 36 years ago, but has always remained a present father in his daughter's life. She's getting married for the second time and there's been one decision that has upset the man.
According to reports, she decided that this time she wanted her stepfather to walk her down the aisle.
“I assume that he will also be the one to star in the moment of the dance between father and daughter,” he writes, noting that although he had just accepted the idea, it left him ‘devastated’.
Despite knowing that “this day is not about me”, the man says he can't help but feel “hurt” and is even considering not going to the ceremony.
The man's sharing leads him to question whether he is being “selfish and childish” or whether his indignation is justified.
Without underestimating his feelings, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb makes him try to think differently.
“If your daughter has decided that she wants her stepfather to walk her down the aisle, that means that he has had a significant presence in her life. Why not look at it, not as if he were her rival, but appreciating the fact that he has been an additional figure in her life?” he says.
“She has two present and caring men who invest in her well-being, which for her is a gift. Can you see your paternal roles as a collaborative investment in her life and not as a competition?” he concludes.
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